Today marks the 1 month anniversary of Ava’s birth. This last month has been a roller-coaster of visitors, emotions and balancing our new lifestyle. Last week was the first full week that it was just the girls and I at home. Our visitors had gone and my husband was back at work. There were some moments when I thought, “wow, this is easy. I can handle this.” And other moments where (and I’m embarrassed to admit this) I would ask Lila to watch a show so I could rock or nurse Ava. Some days were definitely better than others.
Over this past weekend while my husband was outside working on some house projects and entertaining Lila, I was inside with Ava. She was having one of those days where she didn’t want to be put down and it was over 90 degrees out so I didn’t want to take her outside. So while they were outside I was inside enjoying some quiet time with just Ava and I. I was reflecting on the past month and how I was adjusting to motherhood with two. While it’s not an easy task and most of time it’s exhausting I realized that there were moments I could have handled better. I also realized that all my spiritual growth in the past 7 months went out the window. That is when I knew I had to get back to my blog. By coming back here I knew I would focus on me (as much as the girls would allow me to) and get back into practicing and growing spiritually. By being able to do this I can grow to be a better mom and wife.
My new perspective on growing spiritually will focus on being more mindful, patient, and attentive. I find myself dismissing Lila because I’m tired, Ava needs me or simply because I don’t want to play make-believe dinosaurs for the millionth time. While I do believe it’s okay that I’m not at her beck and call, I don’t agree with how I was starting to react to her. I started getting short with her, telling her to play by herself, or putting the tv on for her to watch. I’m only a month in to this new journey of being a mother of two and I know I’ll have my up and down moments, but I feel if I work on myself inside and out I will handle the downs with more grace.
As most mothers know, whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, most days your shower is the only time you get to yourself. I am here to encourage you, as mothers, and myself to find at least 15 min a day for ourselves. No housework, no children or husband and no work. Take 15 min to do something you love, or do nothing in a quiet space. I was lucky today. Lila decided to fall asleep during her “quiet time” and Ava is being fairly independent. I ceased the moment by writing this. I can’t think of a better way to start off the first day of August.