Stuck in a Rut

Hi there, yes, I have been MIA for the last few weeks. I don’t even have some grand excuse. I could tell you I’ve been super busy, out-of-town or aliens abducted me, but I’d be lying. Although I’ve had family here 2 of the last 4 weekends. That’s something right? It’s because I’ve been in a little rut. The other day it hit me, I have not done one single thing for myself in the last few weeks. I haven’t blogged, caught up on most emails, read a magazine or do my yoga routine I want to start again. I get up and the girls own me until they go to bed and then it’s time with my husband. The World Series in on right now and he’s a die-hard Cardinals fan and I am a, well, Cubs fan. So, Go Rangers! Which is why I am able to sit down now to say hi to you all.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts I’m learning to balance this new life of being a mother of two. Do I dare say that it seemed a bit simpler when Ava was only a few weeks and slept most of the time. Now she is 4 months and wants to be held and played with in between her short cat naps and feedings. Well, if it were up to Lila (almost 3), Ava would be in her chair or on her blanket on the floor. Not because Lila doesn’t like her, because she actually loves her a lot, but because I need to have my arms and hands free in order to play pirates (I’m always Captain Hook), go on treasure hunts in a deep dark cave (our dining room), or go surfing (standing on a box lid). To Lila, it’s just no fun when Ava goes with us and I can’t be as animated.

So I’m not sure if it’s even fair to call it a rut. I vowed to be more mindful when I’m with the girls, but I made that vow before Ava. When life was a bit simpler. When it was a time that when Lila napped I had a few hours to myself. Now those few precious alone hours are with Ava. It was a time when I didn’t have to tell Lila “in a minute” for the 5th time that morning. At the end of the day I realize that I’ve played for hours, fed the girls and if I’m lucky, myself, cleaned up mess after mess, and maybe get the chance to straighten up the house (outside of toys) before Tom gets home. Crap, I forget to answer those emails. Shoot, I didn’t get a chance to write on my blog. Darn it, that magazine will have to wait another day. Sorry sore body, we’ll try yoga again tomorrow.

I don’t plan for it to change. I love spending my days with the girls. I know that it will go by too quickly and in 15 years when they’re in high school I will miss these days. But that doesn’t mean that every once in a while I wish I could have Mr. TV babysit for a few hours, heck, how about a day or two and give me a moment of time back.

Kudos to you moms out there who have found your balance and can do it all, or most of it 🙂 You rock. I’ll get there. I will!

Earlier today Lila came and gave me a hug out of the blue. She said “I love you mom. You make me so happy.” Then she told me to get on my surf board. I know I’m doing something right.



2 thoughts on “Stuck in a Rut

  1. TJ says:

    Today its a rut, tomorrow its one our most precious moments. You are not alone in the quest for balance pursuit of true happiness. Lisa and I experience similar challenges daily, and always joke of hiring a live-in nanny to take care of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and dishes. Then we could spend our entire evening building, fixing stuff (even non-broken stuff), doing puzzles, and riding bikes. Once in awhile the Baby Einstein baby sitter is called upon to help out. So using your blog as a indicator, I think you are doing a great job! Your blog is inspiring and I will continue to read it, even if you go MIA for a few weeks!


  2. jrotz says:

    Thanks TJ! I could only imagine what it’s like for you and Lisa with the twins. My goodness. It’s all worth it though. My motto is to just stop and breathe. 🙂 Hope you guys are well!


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